After being advised by our legal department that to put up the full details of the last backstage party would probably involve legal sanctions, loss of prebookings, jail sentences and the resignation of said legal department.....the Broken G Strings would like to issue the following statement (as amended by the legal monkey). 
Tales of the after-party
The Broken G Strings afterparty 
had so many people it broke Health and Safety was well attended. 
Copious amounts of, 
much, Some alcohol was consumed, 
in the process of numerous drinking games, which may explain the following actions. 
After the events of the last party, the instruments were carefully locked away (the band cannot afford to replace another synth or explain to the insurers why 'the drums wanted to go for a swim' a second time....)....
***** which was when 
Maddie a band member someone thought it would be a good idea to duct tape one of the groupies to the ceiling. 
They were NOT aware that this is an innapropriate use of duct tape, see earlier alcohol comment. The duct tape appeared to hold and therefore it is NOT their fault when it later gave way. The groupie only sustained 
some a few 
broken bones minor injuries 
when they fell onto the crowd below. 
The band 
claim to have 
a very good albeit drunken some fuzzy NO idea as to how the TV was thrown out of the window. There is no idea either how it landed on the cat. As for the other TV, DVD player and 
everything else they could find  other 
valuable electrical items... both pirate Captains claim they were not taken by 
them the crew any recognisable pirate 
 and most definitely were not sold on the black market for rum. 
*** **** ***** **** ** *** **** **** ***** ***** *** ********** *** ************ ******* ****** *** *****. ***** *** **** ******** 
**** ***** %!£#ing ****** *** 10 **** ***** *** *** ******* over 14 ***** *** *****!!  ***** *** ** ***** ** **** *** ** ************* ** *** ****** ** **** **** *** *** **** ****,((removed for legal reasons)) but maintains that being tied naked to the lampost was the ONLY legitimate option. 
Kendra The drummer would like to make it clear that the actions with a certain crowd member, 
her wife Snowy who should not be named for legal reasons, are only illegal in 
many some a few select states, and that she will NOT 
unless they offer enough L$ be selling the video
 although the DVD remains to be debated. 
It is 
a point of pride with deep regret that Anwen 
barely remembers her actions and 
is being forced to must apologise for them. She 
has been warned is very aware that 
serenading loud singing, off-key, at 4am, 
will not get you into their bed is not always appreciated by the neighbours, and has promised it will not happen again 
until the next time. 
****** following this **** it was felt the only 
fair polite thing to do would be to drink 
all the remaining alcohol in order that others should not be fooled. Stacy 
does not wants to apologise for the mess made when attempting to make cocktails, the curacao and tequila should wash out....the burn stains are not that noticeable
 if you close your eyes. It is not her fault she forgot you set the cocktail alight AFTER you make it, not during, and the fireball was MUCH bigger than expected. Nobody was seriously injured 
The band have 
NO idea where the aligator came from 
or how it got in the swimming pool, but are 
now aware that there should have been some warning given. 
They are also very confused as they swear they stole....acquired....found a little baby monkey and would like to warn any future occupants of the room that it may still be in there.  
They apologise
 on pain of non-payment deeply to the management and all others to whom they may of caused offence
 there are too many to list.